A while back, I wrote a post about balance and how I wanted it, and how I needed to work at finding it in my life. Well, in the five months since that post, not much has changed. I still have a frenetic work pace, am still making it through what seem to be never-ending training cycles, and there's still a sometimes-surly teenager doing her best to test my patience and drain my pocketbook.
Lest you think I'm turning into a bitter shrew of a divorcee, I'll point you to this post about what's great about my life these days. Although that post was written over a year ago, I'm standing by that list- it's all good.
But my personal evolution is not all sunshine and rainbows; I have my moments where dark, nasty, charcoal-colored clouds invade my space and linger beyond what's comfortable or productive. It's at times like that when I come up with items on the following list. Indulge, if you will, my momentary Pity Party:
Things I Miss About My Old Life (Even If I Only Tried to Wish Some of Them Into Existence, or If They Were There They Were Only Mostly Meh)
1. My turntable and veranda. And someone to playfully complain about my music selections, and the cackles of laughter carrying across the neighborhood. I miss summer nights watching people walk by and catching snippets of their conversations while I sat silently on the veranda, pretending to read or sleep.
2. The weight of another person- the weight of their presence, even- next to my body. I miss the physicality of someone else while leaning into each other, or standing at the coffee counter, or while reading the jacket of a book, or paging through a Crate & Barrel catalog- those small gestures that say "I like you near me."
3. Someone to argue and make up with; a good conversationalist, even if the conversation is full of total bullshit, makes life that much better.
4. A shoulder or a lap to fall asleep on while watching television, plus couch cuddle time.
5. My good dishes and cookware from Williams-Sonoma.
6. And while we're at it, I miss the kitchen I helped design; from the stainless steel appliances, to the concrete counter tops, to the reclaimed wood floors, to the lighting fixtures from Pottery Barn, to the crocks holding utensils, to the sunny spot where I'd drink my coffee each morning.
7. And furthermore...I miss someone else making the coffee each morning.
8. Hearing someone say "I'm happy you're here with me." (That one falls into the "wishful thinking" category.)
9. Someone to dress up and show off. Listen, as a former art student/current fashion slave, I absolutely lovelovelove using humans as my very own dolls. Just trust me, I know what you should be wearing and why.
10. S. E. X. (You didn't think that was going to be omitted from the list just because my mother reads my blog, did you?!)
I've always been pretty positive (okay, but with a sarcastic side, too), and have used other's words to help me remain focused on the Good in Life. Just like that picture up top tells me, things will just keep getting better as long as I don't get bitter.
Pass the sugar :)